Lies I tell my kids

Everyday we are faced with hard questions that we are forced to answer. And every day Tracen gets smarter and smarter and I have to think of a new lie idea to tell him. Take for instance the 7-11 or “supee store” that we live across from. It’s inevidable to be in the car with him coming from any location and NOT have him see it and say “mumma, I want a surpee pease pease pease, triple pease {he got that from Peppa in case you’re wondering.} I then look down at the clock, realize its 9am and I’m on my way to get Starbucks and there is no way in hell my kid is drinking a slurpee this early, I don’t have the patience to deal with the crazed slurpee Tracen right now.

So I do what any normal mother would do. I lie. When he was around 2 and would scream and point out the window and shake his head up and down I would say “oh sorry honey, it’s closed, maybe tomorrow they will be open and we can go.” I then follow up with, “but when we get home you can have some ju-ju (juice).” This worked up until a few months ago as he’s almost 3 1/2. Now I have a 9 month old in the car with me as well and it’s not just Tracen and I jumping out of the car hand in hand skipping across the pavement to go get slurps before dinner when daddy is going to mean mug me when I walk in the door with them {dads a party pooper}. Now its, I have to grab my debit card, get Sky out, and have Tracen hold my hand. Then walk in, get Tracens slurpee for him while holding a small child that keeps trying to grab the slurpee as well as keep my eye on Tracen that he’s A. not trying to open candy and eat it and B. not running around the store, he’s been known to do both! I then somehow need to carry the baby, the slurpee, have Tracen hold my hand, buckle both kids in and go home. As you can see this shit doesn’t fly very often because I have a major meltdown when I grit my teeth and say…”okkkaayyyyyyyy….sureeeee….I guessssss we can…”

So now when he asks and I say sorry it’s closed I usually get, “but mumma, all those oder cars are der, I weally think it’s open?” The juice option doesn’t always work now. So I do the next best thing I can think of, the old “we gotta wait till daddy gets home, he might be sad if he doesn’t get to have one too.”

Guys, I realize this is probably not a good thing to do but my sanity is at risk here! I honestly don’t know how some parents do it! I have a mental breakdown that Tracen is going to get snatched out of the shopping cart in the Target parking lot while I’m putting things into my truck! I go bonkers when he comes to the car to help me get groceries out of the trunk and takes running down the street and I have to chase after him while Sky is strapped in his seat straight chill in the car.

You see I don’t really consider these bad lies, more like white lies that my mother told me were okay to tell while growing up, if it didn’t hurt someone of course. Sure I may stretch the true to my three year old. I may drive by the park and tell him it’s closed, the parks sleeping or this one is only for big kids, kids that are taller than mommy, but it’s all for a good cause, right?

I realize one day I’m going to have to just straight up tell him “Sorry dude, were not getting a damn slurpee right now because you didn’t eat anything I packed in your lunch, your progress report wasn’t great and you hit your brother so no, you don’t get one kid.” But those days are not here yet and I’m really trying to pick and choose my battles lately. You see, I need a breather, I need a reset, I need some time to not think about making bottles, dinner or spreadsheets. Not doing laundry, not picking up the same toys night after night and not making up reasons as to why Tracen needs to get out of bed so we can be to daycare on time. I need a vacation! But for now, I will attempt to stop lying about the hours of the slurpee store (hell it’s 24 hours!) and start gearing up for meltdowns when I calmly say “the slurpee store is open but we aren’t going to get one right now *closes eyes and plugs ears*

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