The Secret to Raising a Toddler

That’s mine.

But I don’t like eggs.

One more show mummy.

Pick me up.

Put me down.

I said peaseeeee.

Tanks.

I thursty.

You silly old birdddd.

BOOTAYYYY TOOOTSSS.

You sad mummy?

Don’t be sad.

I gonna hit you.

No I lub you da most mummy.

Top it daddy.

I want mummy.

Go away.

You beautiful.

Kyler that’s MINEEE.

But I’m not tired.

You go to bed mummy, not me.

NOOOOOOOOO.

But I won’t do it again.

Dis is how I shake my bootay.

Kyler is awake.

Kyler won’t top crying.

You mean mummy.

But WHYYYYY.

Juice pease.

Rub my back.

One more book.

Just one more show.

Uh mummy, did you forget my juice?

I lub you mummy.

Ah yes, the other language that I speak fluently. Toddler.

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When Tracen was 2, I wasn’t sure why people said the terrible two’s were hard.
MY two year old slept through the night, said please, thank you and played well with others.
Until Sky came.
The game changed when he was two and a half  and we brought home a new baby.

Newborns and toddlers are two totally different breeds.

Tracen started acting out, hitting, getting out of bed every night and not listening to either of us.
It’s taken time for us to really figure him.
When he freaks out and says ‘I gonna hit you!’
I can usually pinpoint why.

I’ve read books, blogs and listened to other peoples advise.
I’ve put him in his room for a time out to think about things {alone}.
I’ve put him in his room for a time out to think about things and sat there with him.
I’ve yelled at him {unfortunately who hasn’t}.
I’ve gotten down on my knees{on his level} and calmly asked what is wrong & why is he mad.

None of these have worked for a long period of time.
Until I became the toddler whisperer. It’s true, ask Jerek!

{Insert huge meltdown, with screaming, trying to hit me, & tears, lots and lots of tears.}

SECRET: I get face to face with him and look him in his eyes and tell him we need to calm down and to take 3 deep breaths (because he’s three). His attention is then solely on me, my eyeballs and the fact that I just told him to do something that he knows how to do. The way he takes those three deep breathes is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen! His body is so stressed out still, he’s usually still crying & trying to look at me while trying to breath all at once! This turns into a whimper & then squeals while exhaling {I can’t fully explain this, one day I’ll get it on camera!}. He starts to laugh after the first breath and smiles, even through the tears. I tell him two more and I take the next breath with him and exhale. ‘Last one, lets make it really really big buddy!’ and we do it together.


TADA! 


Guess what just happen? Not only did he totally forget why he was popping a blood vessel for no reason, but him and I did it together. This is the most important thing I’ve learned. When he has a meltdown, I have a mommy meltdown, I can’t help it. I freak out, {sometimes yell} and it gets nothing accomplished. We are not perfect people but if we can figure out what works perfectly for us, we are then better, more effective parents. I know that this tactic may not work next week or next month, but it works for now, and that is what is important and it’s taken time to figure it out!

Some days I wonder ‘can a girl get a redo, this kid is nutssss!’
and some days I never want to put him to bed!
But every day I wonder, where has the time has gone.
How is already 8pm, how is it already June, how is he already three.

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2 Comments

  1. 14.07.14 / 1:49 pm

    Just found your blog 🙂 Love this post as I can relate so much having a 4yr old and almost 2 year old and due in 3 weeks with #3! I will definitely be taking your secret advice for my 4 year olds tantrums – hopefully getting face to face with him and taking 4 deep breaths will calm us both down next time 🙂

    Lizzie
    http://www.multipurposemama.com

  2. 19.06.14 / 8:01 pm

    This kinda scares me, but I'm glad you found a solution! I'll have to bookmark this one!

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