5 Things I Don’t Like Talking About to Expecting Mothers

Longest title of all time? YEP.

As Rebecca Black would say, It’s Friday, Friday! 

Sorry to do that to you, but I just hadddd to.

Today I took a vacation day at work. Yep, Friday’s and Monday’s are usually day’s I like to use my vacation time since I’m already paying for daycare/preschool it’s like a sunk cost babysitter! Economics class anyone? Moving on. On Wednesday I explained how distraught Tracen and I were after the first two days of preschool. But just because I took the day off work today, doesn’t mean I’m letting Trace stay home with me. That would mean I’m not making him face his fear and although this is extremely tough on both of us, he needs to be there. He needs the interaction with other kids his age and to learn to take instruction and obey rules from someone else than myself, Jer or family members. With that being said, I have a shit ton of things I want/need to get accomplished today in a short amount of time. 

This week I wanted to talk about some things I either refuse to talk to expecting mothers, or just people in general, about! With friends and family members becoming pregnant and everyone having their own opinion, sometimes things can get heated when they don’t need to be. So while a lot of people refrain from talking about politics I tend to refrain from starting conversations up about the following. Now this isn’t to say I DON’T talk about these things, because I do, I just try to not be the one who brings it up.

1. BABY NAMES| I can’t tell you how many times people asked if we had names picked out for both Tracen and Skylor before hand. I usually just said we had some in mind but were waiting till they were here to decide. Which was true. I also didn’t want to tell anyone what names we were deciding between because what if they took them! Or bet yet, cringed and said “Oh, that’s different.“I do have to say all the names we had picked out for Skylor people I know have already taken them this past year. So basically if we have another baby it will have to be a girl because I’m fresh out of good and different boy names! *tear*

2. BREAST FEEDING| So here’s the thing, I am ALL for breastfeeding, people talking about, doing it, etc. You could wip your girls out while were drinking some Starbucks together and nurse that baby all you want. I am a total advocate FOR it. The thing that stresses me out is the shame that some women feel when they can’t, or they don’t want to or they give up because it’s hard freaking work! It’s a VERY hard topic to talk about sometimes and a lot of women feel intimidated when they are speaking to other women that can BF. So I tend to not bring it up. If someone asked if I did and how my experience was, I would tell them the truth. It was harder for me to breastfeed and/or pump than it was for me to give birth to Skylor, funny right, but very true. 

3. SLEEPING| Now I did it totally different with my two boys. With Tracen he was in a crib within a month after he got home from the NICU. We never registered for a bassinet and didn’t have a rock n’ play. So all I knew was to put him in his crib and he woke up, feed him, rock, burp and put back in crib. This was also why it probably took him till he was 15 months old to sleep through the damn night! With Skylor I had invested in a rock n’ play (hello Godsend!) and we bed shared IE: he slept in our bed. The problem with this topic is the SID’s talk and the “you’re going to roll over the child” talk people like to give you. I’m not going to get into a debate on any of this I just wanted to tell you that I’ve done it both ways and both kids are well and alive. Tracen now hates sleeping in his bed and crawls into ours around 2am every night and Skylor LOVES his crib and has tons of animals and blankets and a pillow. Another topic people will turn into a debate is the safety of things in the crib. At 13 months old if Sky wants to, and he has, he will chuck everything out of his crib so yes, he sleeps with a small pillow, 4 blankies and about 7 stuffed animals, as did Tracen. {Clearly we didn’t do this right away, only when he was mobil.}

4. CIRCUMCISION| Since I live in a house full of boys, this topic applies to me. I’ve never actually been asked if we circumcised the boys or not but I’ve seen this topic come across many mommy blogs, Facebook groups, etc. I honestly have never felt the urge to voice my opinion as my opinion is this: whether you know you are having a boy or not, you should talk about the topic with your partner before hand and do whatever you both agree on. Sounds like an easy thing to do right?! I know people that have and also have not gotten it done and I honestly could care less on what you do to your son. It’s not going to effect my life so if you don’t want to do it, rock on! And if you want to, rock on too! All I gotta say is, you still gotta clean that thing really good whether you choose to circumcise or not! Also, wieners are weird man, really weird!!!

5. HOW YOUR LIFE IS OVER| This one, this is one I will probably get in fights with people about so I try to keep my mouth shut when I can. Children are a gift, an opportunity that not everyone is so fortunate to be blessed with. The fact that I see people writing or hear people speaking these words baffles me. My life has not ended twice, it’s begun a new chapter each time! A chapter that is hard work but with THE greatest pay off life could give you. Sure, there are days where I want to give up, wave the white flag and scream, cry and run away. Sometimes I want to give up for days on end, thinking, will things ever get better!!! But they do, and then they get worse and then they get really good and then they get worse again. It’s a vicious cycle but in-between the meltdowns, the ‘leave me alone’s’ and the hitting there is love, compassion and laughter. Your life is not over when you have kids, you just live it differently. How you choose to live it is up to you. You have to come up with ways to paint your living room, clean the dishes or film videos and write blog posts! You figure out when the best time to go out to eat with them is {you don’t just stop going out all together!} And you figure out what activities can wear them out them most before bedtime! Your life is never over when you have children!!!

       ^^See! Still having fun and a “life” with kids^^

I get that these are some pretty hard topics that not everyone will agree with me on but these are ones that I try to not talk about with expecting moms, new mothers or people that have ears in general. To me there are greater things that can hold a conversion and a debate on any of these topics is just not something I try to engage in. I’d rather talk about coffee, wine or trashy tv to be honest.

On a lighter note, it’s Friday bitchssss!


Linking up with some pretty awesome people this week, not only the wonderful Karli & Amy for Oh Hey Friday but also with a few other girls I hope you will check out their pages as well! Linking up with LaurenAsh, & Amanda wonderful Friday!

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15 Comments

  1. September 12, 2014 / 1:01 pm

    Such a great post!! I think you general consensus is do what works for you. Love your point of view, hate mommy wars 🙂

  2. September 12, 2014 / 1:25 pm

    Good post! I agree with all of this! I try not to shove my perspectives down peoples throat but when they ask for my opinion or start a convo I tell them what worked for us, why and the benefits to it (i.e. bed sharing, breastfeeding). Plus help and honest opinions are few and far between in a world of "NO". But the circumcision thing…yeah I got no idea about that!

    • September 13, 2014 / 1:59 pm

      Yeah if people asked me what worked for me, I'm all about sharing but reminding them it worked for us may not for you. The forcefulness of what some people say is what bothers me :/

  3. September 12, 2014 / 1:48 pm

    "its fridaayyy fridaaayy"….. now I can't get her annoying voice out of my head!!! Love this post…. not that any of this pertains to me, yet…but I know i've at least asked about the name thing (i think its natural for everyone to ask) lol. But seriously Chels, I feel like your blog keeps getting better and better!!!!!!!!! yayayayayayay <3 Happy Pizza Party Friday!!!!!

    • September 13, 2014 / 1:58 pm

      haha yea I know it's only curiosity it's just some topics I really hate getting into debates about so I try to just shy away from. Thanksssss though, means awot 🙂

  4. September 12, 2014 / 3:43 pm

    What Sarah said… "I feel like your blog keeps getting better and better!!!" I agree!

  5. September 12, 2014 / 4:44 pm

    I think this is a GREAT post and I thought your answers to each topic were excellent. Maybe it's because I'm laid-back and don't really care about winning debates, but I haven't yet gotten into an argument with another mom or expecting mom *knock on wood*. If they disagree with me, give unsolicited advice, make judgements etc I'm just like "okay, thanks for your opinion!" and I move on.

    • September 13, 2014 / 1:56 pm

      I'm sure once little man comes you;ll receive them, although it will most likely be at the grocery store by someone that feels so inclined to tell you that socks should be worn even when it's 85 degrees in California and that your son's feet are probably freezing 😉 Hasn't happen to me or anything 😉

  6. September 12, 2014 / 8:00 pm

    Thanks for that Rebecca Black throwback, I almost forgot about her 🙂

    Love all of this, especially #5 – my life only begun once I had children!!

    • September 13, 2014 / 1:52 pm

      You almost forgot, but now you didn't! You're welcome 😉

  7. September 12, 2014 / 8:49 pm

    This is great, thank you for sharing! Stopping by from the High 5 For Friday link up. Your little ones are adorable.

  8. September 15, 2014 / 5:19 pm

    I love this post!! It's like when people find out what I do they immediately want to start talking to me about all things kids and why they choose to do with their kids and I'm always like "hey it's totally up to you…..you don't need to validate anything to me". Especially when it comes to breastfeeding and circumcisions….everybody has their own thoughts! Your family is beautiful btw!

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