You can’t sit with us

In college I learned a lot of things. I learned how to take 18 credits, work three jobs, go out at night and still make it to my 9 am Friday class {sometimes}. I learned how to make a paycheck stretch extremely far, to the point that I’m pretty sure I lived on a few dollars daily. I learned that working in the food business was great because they FED you! This meant that you had to buy less food at home and your paycheck went even further! I also learned which fifth of Burnett’s tasted the least like rubbing alcohol. At 28 years old I’m rather pissed that no one ever told me about having to date after college.  I’m not talking about dating for a husband or wife, I’m talking about friend dating. The concept to me would have seemed ludicrous 5 years ago but the struggle is real folks!

I went to two different colleges for a total of five years. My absolute best and closest friends have come out of college. After graduation, I was that girl in denial, thinking things wouldn’t change after graduation. Five years later and I’m here to admit, I’M WRONG. I’m putting having kids to the side because it’s not just kids that make it hard to keep in touch, it’s LIFE in general!

I have friends all over the world in different time zones, different countries and different states but I also have some that are just a few miles away from me. As everyone is in different stages of their lives it gets extremely hard to keep up.

Enter friend dating.

Friend dating is weird when you’re not in a school anymore. When you are in high school or college it’s normal to meet people in class, after school events or in sports. Meeting people outside of school, such as at work, the gym or on the internet {yes, I’m taking social media, blogs, Youtube} can be weird. Trying to find new female friends is just plain stressful! Most of us spend at least 40 hours a day in a place of employment. Others stay at home those 40+ hours working or raising children, or both! So it’s only natural to want to socialize with people that have similar interest as yourself. I mean, how the hell are you suppose to get through that work day with out a work wifey?! How do people that work or stay at home do it!

I’m not really sure of the rules but I’m also not someone who follows them. So imagine starting a new job, your first ‘big girl/real job’ after college. You meet someone you could ‘totes see yourself talking about last nights Rich Kids of Beverly Hills with,’ there are some questions that run through my mind. Nothing crazy, but they go something like this.

‘She’s super cool, I could totally see us getting froyo together and gossiping about dumb shit’


‘Should I tell her I want to send her a funny picture and then ask for her phone number?’


‘No that sounds totally lame.’


‘Maybe just ask, ‘hey, what’s your number girl, I wanna take you out.’ She’ll totally think I’m funny. ‘


‘But what if she thinks I’m coming on to her, I mean she’s pretty and all but I like men, specifically Jer.’


‘Okay so I’m pretty sure were like, lunch besties, I mean she doesn’t eat lunch with anyone but me? and we exchanged numbers, I can text her funny stuff right? I hope she thinks I’m funny. But I wonder how she feels about abvs? Do I have to use proper grammar and punctuation? I NEVER re-check what I type, I always just push send. Shit, she’s gonna judge me for sure. will she know when I’m being sarcastic? I wonder if she’s a lol or haha or what about a LMFAO? Can I call her boo or bestie or maybe she wants to be called something different? I wonder what emojis she uses? I wonder what she thinks about emojis? Oh lord, I hope she uses them…if she doesn’t I don’t think we can be friends’



‘So now when do I introduce her to my boyfriend or my kids, what about my kids! They always say not to bring too many people in and out of your kids life, they might get confused. I really don’t want them to be even more confused than they already are. Tracen already doesn’t understand how he got in my belly when there is no door! Do I dare tell Tracen that she’s one of my best friends, he always says that we’re best friends? Would he understand, do you think Sky knows, I bet he does, maybe that’s why he’s been crying so much when I leave him lately’



Some of you may think I’m joking but I know we all have thought these things! Meeting new people can be intimidating no matter how old you are or how outgoing you think you may be. I’m just wondering, when will Match.com breed and reproduce ineedsomemorefriends.com because I want in on that money making plan as well as the friends, yea the friends. The friends that have kids, that don’t have kids, that are married, that are super single and everyone in between. I want in on it all, lord knows that growing up is hard and a girl could use a few more girlfriends to drink Starbucks with. Not that you’re not enough Elyse, because you are 😉

In case you’re wondering, and think I had that whole conversation in my head it happened over a few months time a few years ago. Insert Elyse, my work wifey, bestie and twin. No seriously, we constantly show up for work wearing the same outfit down to the shoes, it’s sickening. We dated casually before exchanging numbers and the rest is history guys. Now if we could only find some other friends who will sit with us at lunch…{sighhh}

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8 Comments

  1. 04.09.14 / 2:36 pm

    haha i love this one!!!!!! i agree….. its like, how did I make friends so easily and now i have like 5? love you!!!

  2. 04.09.14 / 1:58 am

    Love love u gals. Share some of that Starbucks with a sista though lol

  3. 04.09.14 / 1:18 am

    The older you get, the harder it is to keep those friendships. That's why I REFUSE to give up on Amy & Noelle. (They know too much to give them up!!!)

  4. 03.09.14 / 3:21 pm

    Aww, this is so cute! I'm so glad you found your new bestie/twin!

    Maybe I'm weird but I actually found it really hard to make friends in college. It could be because I had a boyfriend for most of it and I was mostly friends with his friends. Most of my BFFs are from high school or before that. And when I started working, it was actually really easy for me to make friends through work. The problem now though is that since I left my job, I have started to see many (not all, but many) of those friendships fade away. So, I agree, there needs to be a website for matchmaking with friends! I need to meet other moms especially!

    • 07.09.14 / 2:11 am

      🙂

      Oh girl, my work is about 98% men and old gross men at that so any women that works there we know they are either interns are new! My issue is that the ones that are moms are usually in there late 30's and the ones my age aren't moms. Not that either matter but I can't find anyone really in my exact moment of life, but whatev:)
      Also, I recently joined a FB local mom's group, you should look for one around you, the post meet ups and there are blogger ones too (I'm sure you knew that though!)

  5. 03.09.14 / 2:13 pm

    Haha I loved this! We just moved and I have noooo friends here/don't know anyone in town so I'll be jumping in on the friend dating game! The struggle is real… I'll admit that I'm not really looking forward to it but I do need friends!

    • 07.09.14 / 2:06 am

      You know I totally stalked you out when you posted you were moving back to the mitten and you're not THAT far from me :))

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