Who watches the kids when you’re gone?

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I get this question a lot. More than I feel is normal to ask someone.

I’ve mentioned before that I’ve been traveling for work more and I’ve been consumed by our pre-ception party as well as other weddings I’m in, attending or shooting video for.

Without fail I get friends, family, co-workers, even strangers asking me who is watching the boys when I’m not around. I’m sure my facial reaction is probably scary once the question is presented to me. The look of ‘what do you mean who watches the boys when I’m not around???”

My answer is always the same.

Jerek.

Jerek is.

Their dad,

you know,

the other person that raises them with me.

Some people stumble over their words after my answer and usually say ‘oh yeah yeah of course, I just wasn’t sure’ and then do this awkward smile and don’t make eye contact with me further. I’m sure some people genuinely don’t know our work schedules or daycare situation and wonder when I’m gone who picks up, drops off, etc. So in that sense I get the question but for most of the people asking I always want to ask them, ‘who watches your kids when their mom isn’t around?

My answer use to be ‘Jerek does, he’s the next best thing to me.’ I’ve stopped saying that because that’s not true, he’s not the NEXT best thing, he’s as equally as good as I am as a parent, hell, some days he’s better! While I’m traveling for work or staying well past my normal working hours Jerek’s making sure he’s leaving work on time to get home and let our aunt leave after watching the boys for 9 hours. He’s driving to daycare to pick them up and starting dinner, never complaining about when I’m going to be home, just excited to see me when I get there. Some days when I’m out of town he’s doing all this and then coming home to make dinner, get the boys ready for soccer and then home and ready for bed. He’s doing it all without me because he’s a father, he’s their father and that’s what you do. That’s how we parent, we are a team and some days I’m pulling more weight around here and others he is. But for the most part we contribute 50/50.

There has never been one doubt in my mind when I’ve left to run to the store, to go to work or I’m half way across the world that I need worry about Jerek being here with them. Some days I seriously question my parenting and am jealous at how calm and collected Jer can be.

I think I’ve gone to one soccer practice so far. one. Sure I’ve been there for every soccer game but it kills me inside, missing things, important things, to me. My mind has been wrapped in work work work and Jerek is getting worn out and I can tell. It’s a lot to be a parent and work full-time and when your partner that you count on as your teammate isn’t there it’s 10 times harder. We’ve both said how grateful we are that we aren’t single parents and doing this on our own. I commend all the single parents out there by choice, or not by choice, this shit is exhausting WITH a partner and I hope I never have to do it alone.

So Jerek this one is for you.

Thank you.

I know I haven’t said it enough lately, 

most likely because I haven’t been home or awake long enough,

but Thank you for being the dad I never doubted you would always be.

Your dedication to this family is appreciated more than you know.

I would be lost with out, our grass would be 10 feet tall 

and the boys would probably eat more ice cream than they should.

Thank you for making sure they aren’t the last ones at daycare,

they eat the cheesiest mac and cheese 

and for being the hot soccer dad, 

this soccer mom loves the hell out of you!

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5 Comments

  1. 15.10.15 / 11:21 pm

    I wish all situations were like this. I can't even trust my husband to feed our hedgehogs,I think I may stress myself out worying when we finally have kids. I totally get your frustration though

  2. 14.10.15 / 9:20 pm

    My husband and I were just talking about something similar! We don't have kids, but constantly people will tell me to "make" my husband do this or that. Wha?!?! Last time I checked, my husband was his own person and completely capable of making decisions about what he will and will not do. This whole notion that men are incapable, bumbling, idiots is so weird, right?! I'm glad I'm not the only one who still sticks up for her husband!

  3. Alicia Ragaller
    14.10.15 / 1:50 pm

    I feel as if I get this question quite a bit from people ,mostly women, who complain a lot about their partners. Yes dad's are perfectly capable of taking care of their own children. We both work a ton and rely on each other to run the house. I never do dishes or laundry because Kyle does, but when he's gone I don't wait until he gets back for him to do it. I never understood why people as this question to 2 parent households. I am happy for you getting to do some travel, yes its for work, but if you are great at what you do, DO THAT. Having a loving supportive partner just makes life easier.

    • 15.10.15 / 2:42 am

      Yes I totally agree. I know that not all men, husbands, baby daddy's are like this but it should be! So glad you have a supportive husband too XO

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