Sharing a Room

When Tracen turned 2 we specifically got him bunk beds as his new big boy bed. I was pregnant with Skylor and knew I wanted them to share a room one day.

I use to beg my mom for bunk beds growing up. She always said fine but you will have to share a room with your brother. I never liked that idea so I always passed when she made that comment.

Ever since we moved Tracen out from his crib and into his bed he’s been in our bed 90% of the time. If he sleeps through the night in his own bed we know it’s because he was exhausted from the day before.

Skylor is three and a half is still going strong sleeping in his crib. When we moved into our new house he was about 8 months old and strictly bed shared or co-slept  next to us. I had him in his crib for the occasional nap but he never actually slept in his crib. When we moved I think Jerek said something like ‘we should probably put Sky in his own bed now right? Don’t you want to have the bed to ourselves again?’ I most likely looked at him and laughed because it wasn’t like Tracen really slept in his bed, so who cared if there was one or two in our bed, the more the merrier in my opinion!

If it’s not broke, don’t fix it. That’s how the saying goes right?

Anywho.

Sky has never crawled or fallen out of his crib, he loves his bed! When he was little we would be in the living room and he’d point to the ceiling and say night night, meaning he wanted us to take him upstairs to his room and put him to bed. Yes, my child use to ASK me to go to bed.

You can see why I’m having a hard time saying bye to the crib.

Sky will stay up for an hour or more after we put him to bed and play PJ masks with his stuffed animals. I’m sure you’ve seen on Snap or a vlog where I’m standing outside his bedroom recording him yelling “you’ll never get me PJ Masks! mauhhahahahah”  Some nights he goes to bed with a couple plastic dinosaurs, a huge monster truck and a couple books.

So many parents are all like ‘you let him bring toys to bed? It’s bedtime though, he needs to sleep’

I will politely let them know that my kid has been sleeping through the night since he was a few months old and usually at 12 hours a day with a 2-3 hour nap. Ask me again if I care that he brings the whole damn toy box to bed.

No. No I do not care!

Jerek bought the boys new bed sheets for Christmas and when I asked him what size he got Skylor (crib or twin) he said Paw Patrol and then I think whispered twin and held his breath. He knows I’m dreading the change from the crib to a bed.

I know I know, it’s probably time but I literally can’t let go of this kid. Sometimes I pick up 18 month old clothes and put them in my cart at Target and convince myself that’s his size. I bought an Ergo for $8 at a mom to mom sale the other week (in mint condition, a steal really!) and carried Sky around the farmers market in it.

I’m a lunatic, I get it.

I’ve been going back and forth on when we will transition him to the new bed and here are the options I’m dealing with.

1. Take bunk beds apart (Tracen refuses to sleep on the top) and put them side by side in Tracen’s current room and make them a new room (Tracen’s is bigger) New paint, decorations etc. It would be THEIR new room together, the big boy’s room.

2. Take bunk beds apart and put one in Sky’s room. Redo his room to make it a big boy room with new decorations, paint, etc.

3. Buy another king size bed and make our bedroom one big old bed-sharing room for all of us to sleep in and never let them grow up.

I personally like option 3, Jerek, not so much.

Now here are my concerns with these options.

1. I STILL have to sit in Tracen’s room till he passes out at night or he won’t go to sleep. As long as I do, it takes about 15 min after I say good night and he’s out. If I add Sky into the room he would stay up for probably 45 min after lights out and play. Which I don’t care about but this would probably keep Tracen up, which would then keep me in there till they both passed out, which would then cut into my time watching Shameless spending time with Jerek.

2. If we put Skylor in Tracen’s room I don’t know if Tracen will get all crazy and say this isn’t YOUR room, this is MY room and then resent me for it and go crazy

3. Will I be mentally stable if this all goes well and the kids stop coming into our bed at 2am and will you find me on the floor of their new room sleeping with them.

As you can see I’m clearly insane and we should probably just keep things the way they are. I promise to stop buying infant carriers for kids that are half my height and we can all move on with our lives.

Sincerely,

Lost-and-confused-on-how-you-let-your-kids-grow-up-but-still-try-and-stay-semi-sane

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1 Comment

  1. December 20, 2016 / 12:54 am

    As someone who has, at times, shared a bedroom with her brother and her mother (and sometimes shared living room space, etc.) because of lack of money for a big enough house…I am biased to everyone having their own rooms.

    As a seasoned nanny of over a decade, I also think that each having their own room is important. Kids need space to develop their own identities. While I think it is still possible in a shared room situations, I also think that it is much better for children to learn independence and self-care (self-entertainment, all kinda self-things) when they have their own space, which can be quiet or messy or neat or creative or whatever they need. They can always have sleepovers and build living room forts in order to have bonding. They can't always develop some individual aspects of their personalities when they don't have the space and privacy to do so. (As an nanny, privacy is the thing I feel kids are denied the most, for no good reason.)

    As a totally non-judgmental friend, I say get the king bed! Honestly, it sounds fun! Tracen is not always going to have these "troubles" going to sleep. Fuck it! Why not just bond all the time?

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