If you could buy one thing in life that would make you a better parent what would it be?
Hands down, mine would be patience.
Patience; the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.
Lately I feel like I have not a fucking ounce of it.
Some days I act more like a child than my kids, Jerek reminds me of this regularly.
Take Sunday for example, Tracen was mad at me and told me he was never talking to me again (I told him no more snacks because I was making dinner, not fast enough apparently) I responded with a “good, I can’t wait to eat all this mac & cheese alone then”.
His response, “It’s not vegan, you can’t.”
He then went outside in the back yard to see what Jerek was doing. I then ran and locked the back door, knowing he would have to “talk to me” if he wanted to come back in and eat.
GUYS, I’M A CHILD!
Jerek then knocked on the door, gave me a look and told me to grow up.
I rolled my eyes, let them back in and sulked while continuing to make mac & cheese & fed the kid.
The hardest part some days about lacking patience and raising kids is that I can’t yell things like,
“What the fuck is wrong with you!”
“What made you think that was okay to do?”
” If you ask me to get you crackers one more time I’m never feeding you again”
All these things would give my kids pure terror, anxiety and a horrible mommy complex.
Clearly, not something I want nor would ever do, just to make that obvious!
But damn, some days I feel like I talk in a yelling tone ALL.DAY.LONG!
Other days you’ll catch me telling Jerek to relax, let them live, stop being so uptight, and I have all the patience in the world.
More times than not , I have no idea how to not sarcastically answer a question with a question from them.
For instance the most common question I get is, “I’m hungry, can you get me something to eat?”
This question usually comes to me while my hands are deep in water washing dishes, I’m giving Sky a bath, I’m on the toilet or I’m doing laundry. And most of the time, they walk right past their dad to come and ask me this important life or death question as to somehow IIIIIII can get them food better than Jerek can. It drives me bonkers and it also makes Jerek feel like he’s not needed (not a great feeling as I’m sure we all know.)
The older Tracen gets the more he’s challenging me in ways I’m sure my mom is smiling and laughing, whispering under her breath “payback is a bitch huh!”
So tell me, what do you do when kids melt down, freak the eff out and challenge you!? The old “because I said so” “I’m the mom, that’s why”and ” when you’re older____(fill in the blank)” comments are actually getting really old coming out of my mouth (never thought I’d say that!)
If you’re in this same wave of life as I am right now, I salute you, with a glass of wine because who drinks water after days like these?!
The patience-less parent otherwise know as MOM