Motherhood isn't hard

Lately I've been complaining about how Tracen is not potty trained and is regressing from using the toilet at all. In fact he will piss his pants before he sits his tiny white butt cheeks on that thrown. I've wiped his ass more times than I want to remember and the volume of shit he's leaving in his diaper lately are getting bigger by the day. I'm sick of cleaning man craps and wiping the crevices of his balls while he has a full on conversation with me, legs high up in the air. I'd change Skylor's explosive ass ANY day over

With Tracen getting older I'm really trying to teach him right from wrong and it came to my attention the other day that he can lie. He wanted to watch a show and I asked if he was done with his dinner, which he stared at me for a minute and said "uh..yup", smiled and ran to the living room. False kid, you didn't, I can see your plate from here!  I thought this didn't happen until you were 13 and your mom wanted to call the parents where you said you were staying the night but you knew they wouldn't be there and then you're caught in a lie and can't leave the house for the weekend...Anyways, I was talking to Jer the other day how I never want to let the boys walk home from school, to ride their bikes to friends who don't live next door to us and to have them stay in every Friday night with us and watch movies and have Pizza Party Friday for the rest of their lives. Basically make sure they want to hang out with us all.the.time.

Being a parent is seriously the scariest thing I've ever done in my life. The responsibility weighs so heavy on your shoulders that I get sheer anxiety thinking about the future. I see small kids walking home from school on my drive home and think to myself, where are their parents. Then I think back to my childhood and I use to walk home at that age, WITH my six year old brother. WHAT WAS MY MOM THINKING!!! I think back and wonder if she had the same anxiety or if things were just different then. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to microchip my children. I'M NOT KIDDING. I get peer panic attacks when I see the amber alerts, the CNN reports of shootings and the Facebook status updates of kids overdosing. I'm scared as hell to have these boys grow up! I realize I might sound mental.

With today being Mother's day I feel a little bitter about the topic. I'm a mom to two little {human} boys and one little fur ball {that's on my nerves lately} so you would think I'd be excited but I'm not. It's just a normal day to me. Sure I'm looking forward to getting pedicures with my mom but really I don't need a day for the boys to tell me that they love and appreciate me because honestly I feel this daily and I'm really lucky for that. For me Mother's day makes me think about all the other people in our life that make motherhood easier on me. Being a parent is not a one man circus show, even as a single parent it's not. We constantly rely on others such as daycare providers, family members, friends, neighbors, co-workers, school teachers and even other children. Without these people helping raise our children what would we do. Being a parent is a privilege that many take for granted.

To me there should not be a day that defines me as a mother or Jerek as a father, it's not about who gave birth to these children, the gender or the age, it's about who helps raise them who should be celebrated each and every day. So to all my friends, family and weirdo's in our life...thanks, my head might have fallen off if it wasn't for you. So here it is, an ode to my people, my "mothers'.

Happy Mother's Day to the ones that help raise my children, the ones that make my life better, easier and more enjoyable. To the one that birthed me, grounded me for months on end to teach me right from wrong and didn't give up on me through those hard middle school years. To the one that made me a mother, sticks by me in my craziness and enjoys my weirdness, that takes on the parenting 50% because that's what teammates do.  To the one that gave me Jerek, that raised him right, that loves my boys just as much as she loves her own children. To the ones that watch our boys while we work to provide for them, who watch them when we need a night out, when we looked at 150+ houses, to the ones that have children for them to play with, to the ones that stop by and say hi and understand that although were busy we still value their friendships, to the ones that listen to my stories at work, regardless if they have kids or not, to the ones that give advice when asked for and the ones that provide advice even when I'm unwilling to take it. To the ones that nurture, love and embrace these boys like they are their own. Thank you.

You see motherhood isn't that hard...because I have all of you.

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