I married Jerek years ago


{Photo by: Monroe Fox Photography}

I was dead set on the fall of 2015 for the wedding. I wanted to "get it over with" so we could do more house projects, take a vacation and if I haven't said it enough already, MORE BABIES!!! I know. I sound like such a bitch, you don't need to tell me that. I should be beside myself, jumping for joy to be engaged after all the years we've been together right? 'It's the best time of your life!" everyone likes to tell you. But what no one seems to realize is that I married Jerek years ago.

Back in 2010, when we were pregnant with Tracen. I promised to him, to myself and to God that we were forever. Through the good times and the hard times, we were one unit that operated together, that made decisions together, for us, for our family. I didn't need a ring, a piece of paper or a promise made in front of our families to do this.

Nothing has changed and over these past 5 years we've kept our promise to do just that. We have fought over finances, how to handle them, what we should be saving vs. what we should be spending. We argued and disagreed a lot while looking at close to 200 houses WHILE I was pregnant the entire time with Skylor, talk about stress people! I've gone to bed mad because I'm a hormonal raging bitch at times and always have to have the last word {why am I admitting this?} I've probably said shut the fuck up a few too many times {not cool Chelsea, not cool} and I've gone to bed crying and woken up pissed the next day, not feeling like anything was settled.

For almost 12 years Jerek and I have been through a lot together. We know each other almost better than our parents know us. I've actually known the kid since he was 12 years old! I know what teenager Jerek is like and the trouble he got in, I know what young 20's Jerek is like and I know what Jerek as a father is like and how hard he works at his job. I'd like to think I have a pretty good idea of the person he is, the character he portrays and what to expect from him on a daily basis.

When people say 'oh but it's different when you're married', I'd love to tell those people 'well let me know when you have been with them for 12 years and have 2 kids together', THEN we can talk. Unlike the traditional bride I already KNOW how Jerek is to live with. How he NEVER un-bunches his socks after taking them off. I already KNOW what he's like as a father, I don't have to hope that he'll be a good one one day because he's a unbelievable one already.

I realize that not everyone has children with the man that they will marry, nor do those marriages or relationships work out. I'd like to say I'm lucky that mine has but I'm not. Luck is not what our relationship is built on. Every day we wake up next to each other and work hard on our relationship with each other and with our kids. Communication is key to it all. So while April 5th we will be able to stop shelling out money for separate health care plans and I will take the boys last name, I'd like to remind you that I'm not 'marrying' Jerek that day because I married him years ago.