The end of Preschool
9 months ago I left Tracen at preschool, we both were crying. Sobbing, I called Jerek stressing out explaining I didn't think he was going to get better never mind me ever getting to work on time or without raccoon eyes from all the tears.
Take a look at the two pictures above. Note the same shorts and where they are hitting below and then above his knee. Where his elbow is above the horizontal layer of bricks a week ago and a few inches under nine months ago. His baby face, his eyes, cheeks, his hair, everything, everything is different, everything changed, is still changing. Life is just moving so.damn.fast.
Growing up I would talk to anyone that would make eye contact with me. A teacher of mine once told my mom that I would talk to a wall if she sat me next to it. It's true, I probably would. I love being put in new places with new people where many would stress out, I have always loved meeting new people in new settings. Tracen is not like that. He's timid, sensitive and rather shy at first. He likes to go places he knows, be around people he's comfortable with and stick to a regular schedule, change is not his forte.
Our daycare is great, they transition the kids wonderfully and at a healthy speed but Tracen wasn't having it. He was extremely scared of the 'bigger' kids in the new room, they were loud, outgoing and big as he would cry telling me. He also was mildly in love with his current teacher. She was sweet and kind, someone that made him comfortable while he was away from me.
We have the boys in daycare/preschool two days a week and at home with Jerek's aunt the other three. I like the balance, but at times I wonder if it has ever hindered Tracen's ability to conform with change better. This past year of preschool he improved greatly as the year went on and now adores his new teacher and classmates. There are still days where it takes me 30 minutes for drop-off but overall we have a good routine down. And now, now I'm worried about the transition into pre-k in the fall. The worries are never ending and I know it will just take time, just like the pre-school transition did.
So often people get upset that their child with an early winter birthday won't get to start kindergarten when they are almost 5 like the other kids do but for me I'm so happy Trace can't this fall. He wouldn't be ready and I would feel horrible rushing him into something knowing he wasn't prepared for. He will be almost 6 when he starts kindergarten and I'm 110% okay with that. I was always the youngest in my class and I suffered after summer breaks because I never retained anything when school started from the year before.
So for now, I'm going to enjoy the summer with the boys and worry about Pre-K when this fall comes. With kids, every new start shows challenges that you must find new ways to work through, and when all else fails, ugly cry and write blog posts about how your kids are growing up too fast and post some really freaking cute pictures of them.