Motherhood is Hard
The lines of motherhood are often blurred between am I a good mom or am I not good enough.
I've found that I often question myself based on things I say or how I react in instances.
Motherhood is a tricky thing and one you will never get right.
You get called a helicopter parent if you hover too much at the playground but then are referred to as lazy for sitting on the bench on your phone. You're judged if you're too "crunchy" or not crunchy enough. Stared at if your car seat is forward facing or eyes rolled at you if it's still reverse at the age of 4.
If you're a stay at home mom your ridiculed for not working by the working moms and the working moms are then talked about in play group, they must not love their kids enough to have someone else 'raise' them. Us unwed mothers get asked if you're still with the 'father', and if you are, the follow up question is always 'so why aren't you married?'
I'm constantly trying to find balance with my my 29 year old self. The one that has friends the same age but not in the same chapter of life. Constantly wondering if the boys are proud of all that I do, all that I juggle. Or quite the opposite, do they think I do too much, or that I'm not around enough.
Every day, every single day, is filled with doubt, insecurities and questions to yourself.
Am I doing this right?
Could I being doing this better?
What do people think of me?
But every day is a new day, one that the past can't be dwelled on but the present can be worked on. We have the options to choose our reactions based on the situations we are presented with. You can choose to be miserable or you can choose to be happy, it's as simple as that. Wake up every morning and tell yourself, I am good mom. Nothing more, nothing less. But believe it, live it. Understand that you have bad days, months and sometimes years. As a parent, this is a race you will never win, but never lose, if you do your best.
Let your actions speak louder than the words you feel like uttering to the old lady at Target. The one that looks at your left hand and then at your cart of children, whose mouths are covered with chocolate and socks that don't match. Do your best at that very moment, no matter how much of a hot mess you may look like on the outside. And remember...
A lion does not concern himself with the opinions of the sheep.